I had a dream

I had a dream when I was a young girl, I dreamed of being Miss America and having a beautiful wedding in the biggest, laciest, whitest, wedding dress imaginable. I dreamed of walking down the isle in this big dress with this long veil to marry Prince Charming and we would live happily ever after. My first disappointment came when I realized I was not Miss America material. I had crooked teeth, a hump in my nose, no talent, and didn't have the money for the formal wear! And I certainly wouldn't have known how to answer all those questions. Actually it was Dad that informed me of this lack of Miss America material. I had no idea that I wasn't qualified, no way. I dreamed of being crowned and waving to the adoring crowd, I was Miss America, the most beautiful girl in the USA! Ha, I liked that dream. Wasn't to be though.

So after that disappointment I still had the dream of the big wedding I might be able to pull off, I could do THAT! Well, once I realized we were poor I started worrying about the type of boys I could date because of the wedding issue. I realized that the parents of the girls always paid for the wedding and I knew my parents didn't have any money so I knew I couldn't marry a rich boy. Dating Michael really made me worry about that prospect. I really liked him at the time and thought maybe we would get married one day even though I am sure his family worked hard on him to let him know that it wouldn't be a good idea to marry a poor girl. I thought if they liked me for me then it would be ok but they never did warm up to me, not at least back then. I did worry though that if he were to ask anyway that my parents wouldn't be able to afford a wedding, especially not the kind of wedding that his family would think worthy of their son (not to mention my dream wedding). It was stressful. Thankfully that didn't work out, so I guess it was a blessing(one I am grateful for). I didn't set my sights so high the next time around and I got what I wished for. I did find someone who's economic status was pretty similar to mine but he wasn't right for me. In the beginning I thought he was perfect but it didn't take long to realize he wasn't, I knew it but didn't listen to myself. I was getting older and you just didn't go past 21 and not get married (at least that is what I thought at the time). I absolutely figured my time was running out and no one would ever want to marry me so if he ever asked I was going to say yes! I always dreamed of that wedding and being married to my Prince and time was running out for me. How times have changed. He eventually did ask, not before lots of disappointment, and I said yes because I needed to be married and anyone was better than no-one. So we got married but I still didn't get the big wedding I wanted. I have to laugh because being married in a trailer park was a long way from the wedding of my dreams. I sold a ring another boy gave me to pay for my flowers and cake and Mom paid for my dress. Dad, he stayed out of it. So I had a wedding fitting for a poor girl, I married a frog in a trailer park! I knew right away it wasn't going to work but that is a whole other story. I had a dream.......it didn't come true.